…the Vikings choke. This is not really a surprise for those cynical folks in Minnesota. What’s surprising is when a team actually wins a championship. Not when they come from ahead to lose. Our common refrain is “Well, it was a good season.” or something like that. G and CS were over for the game yesterday and we had a low-key few hours.
Of course, you know that I don’t really care about sports. It’s an entertainment industry and I guess as such provides valuable jobs and keeps the economy moving, etc. etc. but I have a whole rant about how our society worships sports idols more than anything else we say we worship and more than is necessarily healthy for a society with so many other things that need our time and attention.
Anyway.
On Saturday G and I walked around MOA and window shopped for rings. The adventure had a bit of a rocky start when, instead of going to the mall where we could ease in to looking at rings and talk together about what we had before, he took me in to a stand alone jewelry store where we were immediately accosted by a sales person who started asking too many questions. What are you looking for? Men’s rings? Women’s rings? Engagement rings? Solitaires? How long have you been together? Are you engaged already? Do you want matching bands? AAAAAAGGH.
In the flurry of the inquisition G made a couple of comments that sent me just about over the edge and I just called an end to the whole thing and walked out of the store.
Sitting in the car in the parking lot with freezing rain falling I told him that I never wanted to hear him say “whatever she wants” about anything related to this wedding. I was a mess of conflicting emotions and thoughts and it was a pretty rough half hour or so.
Eventually we got to the place where we articulated to each other a couple of important points. It’s not about the “stuff” but a ring is an important symbol. I don’t need (or want) a huge “rock” that will spending a huge amount of money, but hearing that he didn’t want to spend the money on the price tags we had just glimpsed made me feel like I did with X – that I wasn’t worth the $ to him, that I was again going to be the main bread-winner and a whole host of other nasty thoughts of which I’m not proud.
After we walked past a few more stores and I began to see things I actually liked, and he saw that what I liked wasn’t thousands and thousands of dollars I think we both calmed down a little bit.
About that time we walked past a stationary store and I went in to look through the invitation catalogs while he used the restroom. Good. Grief! Invitations have changed in 26 years – and they haven’t gotten cheaper! As I continued my research on-line later that evening I found it ironic that it would be very easy to spend more on the invitations than on the wedding ring I buy him! Totally stupid, IMHO. So, now I’m researching alternatives.
Last night after the football game I started researching dresses. I don’t want a wedding dress. I’d like a nice, classy dress that I can wear again and again. The trick comes, of course, with the idea that as I begin training for a half marathon I am a much different size and shape than I will be in four months. But estimating that size and shape is tricky. And again, even with a “nice” or a vintage dress, I could easily spend more on it than on the wedding band he liked.
I’m back to thinking those folks who elope are on to something. Although I want my friends and family (well, some of them) around for this. Maybe PC – the administrator at church – had the right idea. They got married at Williams Pub on a Thursday night. Casual dress, Justice of the Peace, people that could come were there. P & D (her hubby) ordered a bunch of appetizers for the group and everyone bought their own beverages – and more food was available if people wanted it. Easy Peasy.
At the same time I’m thinking all these things, the phone rings and it’s G’s mom calling to see if he told me that she wanted to pay for the cake and wondering if “you considered appetizers or something else for people to eat” at the reception. Now, to her credit she clarified that she wanted to pay for all the food, not just the cake. But as I told G this morning, adding appetizers adds a level of complexity to the reception; you need people to serve or replenish platters, you need different and more dishes and clean-up is longer. Are they hot appetizers? Now you’re dealing with cooking. Cold? You need to deal with storage. Not that I would have to deal with all that, but someone would and it would increase the costs.
I guess I’m just at the over-whelmed stage just now.
One thing I can recommend is a site called wedsimple.com A couple of friends have used it and the part I like the best is that it generates a ToDo list with appropriate due dates. So I know I’m fretting over things a little early. Helps a little bit to know that when I’m spinning with all this.
All this and transitioning out of Evil Corporate job (still no official date) means I’m piling Significant Life Change Stressors one upon the other. But knowing me, you wouldn’t expect anything less, would you?
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
January 25th, 2010 | Category: my crazy life | Comments (10)
