The only thing left to do

You probably think I’m crazy. Well, actually, if you’re reading this, you probably know me and know I’m crazy but not for this reason.

I’m not sure how many people reach the level of stress I’m at these days. The only thing that seems to help is prayer and either the kind of prayer where I just sit there and pretend to be on God’s great-big-gramma-lap being soothed and cosseted and taken care of, or the kind of prayer where I have to use someone else’s words, because really, I’ve run out of my own words.

This hymn came to me this week. It’s related to the gospel text for Sunday (Mark 4:35-41) and was my favorite hymn in 8th grade. I actually chose this as my theme hymn at 8th grade graduation. (Hey, it was a Wisc. Synod school. What can I say?)

My vague recollection is that things were pretty rocky and stormy at home during those days. I was not fitting in there and I was continually arguing theology with the teachers at the school and a very tall (6′) girl named Julie with long, waist-length red hair and I (about 4′11″ blonde hair…sort of page-boy cut, I think) and I were best friends because we were both outcasts.

But we didn’t get to see each other outside of school because, well, we didn’t live in the same neighborhood, neither of us drove (duh!) and it wasn’t like my parents were going to take time out of their busy fight schedule to do something for me.

Anyway, the idea of someone as powerful as Jesus being able to pilot my boat for me was pretty appealing.

still is.

Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life’s tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal;
Chart and compass come from thee,
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boisterous waves obey thy will
When thou sayest to them, ‘Be still.’
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

When at last I near the shore,
And the feareful breakers roar
‘Twixt me and the peaceful rest,
Then, while leaning on thy breast,
May I hear thee say to me,
‘Fear not, I will pilot thee.’