No, seriously!
I am going [to try*] to focus on ME this next year.
What do I really like to do?
- Not what do I think will please people around me; my friends, my children, my family, etc. ME. Maybe I’ll get to do those things, maybe not. But it would be really good to know for sure what they are.
- How do I really like to spend my alone time. NOT WATCHING TV or MOVIES. What other stuff. Do I really like to go to museums? fish? knit? read? what exactly are my “hobbies.” (I’d better actually have some because I really don’t want to be certifiably type-A work-a-holic.)
How do I feel?
- Physically.
- Does my body feel the way I want it to? Does it look the way I want it to?
- How can I feel better?
- How can I feel better about how I look, how I move (or even how much I move).
- Emotionally.
- Have I really unpacked the baggage?
How do I want to live?
- House
- Garden
- How do they reflect who I am? How much identity do I get from them? How much identity do I put into them.
And finally,
Do I need to have the answers to all these questions before I begin to make new friends? Before I begin dating? Do I want to begin dating and why?
With regard to dating, I feel like I would like to go out and do fun things with someone, but I don’t feel like I want to search for a new “LTR.” But just because I don’t want or feel ready to have another serious relationship, does that mean I want to play the field? Am I asking these questions too soon? Afterall, the divorce isn’t officially final yet.
Somehow, I feel like I’m asking the wrong questions, because they’re backing me into a corner of a false diachotomy.
Well, I guess this all is stuff I can talk with my counselor about.
*Of course, being a mom and someone who has spent a really long part of her life learning to focus on everyone else’s needs before her own, this could be more challenging that it sounds.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
November 19th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
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