day 2 without boys
Throughout the day I found ways and times to talk about the boys. Even when it was WAY off topic. But today was too long and if I don’t control myself, I’ll just keep working.
I am out of control.
I was up and showered and ready to go by about 8. Sat and read some blogs and made it to the staff meeting a little late. I wasn’t the only one though so didn’t feel bad. Let’s be clear. Even if I had been the only one I wouldn’t have felt bad. What are they going to do? Fire me?
Worked on the bulletin but got interrupted by MM, the CPE supervisor. Basically talked him into letting me into the program (yeah me!!!) by promising not to hassle him for being “process oriented” which he interpretted as “going with the flow” and running the group in a rather “unstructured” way. What I told him was that knowing that that was how he liked to work the group was enough information for me to not feel like we were twisting in the wind without a net and I would be fine. If I wasn’t fine, I promised him that I would talk directly with him about it. I told him that it might be a challenge for me, but that it was exciting and valuable for me that he would committ to working on this issue with me. Which actually, is all true.
Left around 12 for a counselor appointment. Drive through lunch (ugh. I have a huge bowl of chicken pasta salad in the fridge. Don’t suppose I could have remembered to pack some???)
It was another example of being in a pretty good place right now and having these support people around me telling me that while we search for something to “work on.” We mostly talked about my goal to spend this year focusing on “me” and basically my personal life. What do I like to do and how am I going to spend my free time. Junk like that.
Stopped at the sem, but KR and PW were out, so I ended up down in the bookstore. Luckily I kept my checkbook in my purse!!! I did run into EH, who has a call to Holden Village! We talked a bit about when that started and I gave him my address so he could keep me informed about the winter community. Of course, I don’t expect him to write me, but since I know his address, I’ll write him. (btw, he’s in his 20’s, smart, musical, handsome…and gay. ah, well.)
I was late to get to YM’s apartment. We loaded a bunch of stuff into the car, unloaded it at the house and went for tea.
Then it was back up to church for me…Worship Committee meeting tonight. Of course, I’m kind of a freak, so I didn’t go home to get something for dinner, or sadly, to feed Libby the wonder poodle.
Finished the bulletin drafts and got an email that there is another couple of hours of changes to “the project.” The meeting started at 7 and didn’t get done until 9. It was good. I’m going to miss these people and feel for them as they try to get their gifts and time and leadership honored by this new guard. I fear that they have more rough road ahead. At one point, BM asked “Becky, what are we going to do without you?” My immediate response was (without thinking, because this is what I truly believe) “You’ll be fine. This church survived for 132 years without me and you’ll continue on after I’m gone. But you have a lot of hard work to do.”
Anyway, because the meeting didn’t get done until 9, I didn’t get home until 9:30 and had to eat something (and feed Libby, poor thing!) and now I’m “wasting” time updating you, dear blog-o-mine, instead of jumping into “the project.”
But this is for me. This is therapy in a way. A debrief at the end of the day. You don’t zone me out in favor of the TV sports report. You are ever available to listen and seem to care about the ever mundane minutia of my life. And even though I had a nice tea in the middle of the day, it was a long day. If I was even healthier and smarter, I would just go to bed and get up and work on “the project” before and after my spiritual direction meeting at 8:00 a.m. rather than staying up late with my “boyfriend” Craig Ferguson while I try to re-write crappy training.
Not many of you loyal readers have weighed in on the big question of the week. Please feel free to do so. I really just need a wide variety of opinions on all of this.
peace.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
TGIF - I think 2008
flirting and the use of email 2007
too much to think about 2007
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
TGIF - I think 2008
flirting and the use of email 2007
too much to think about 2007
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
TGIF - I think 2008
flirting and the use of email 2007
too much to think about 2007
