Is the date important?
How much “weight” do you put on the day or date things happen? Do you hold off on signing a mortgage for a day because the original date was the day you broke up with your first boyfriend? Or anything like that? What if you have no control over the coincidental alignment of watershed dates?
The reason I ask is that I am a bit afraid that my divorce will become final on my birthday. In Minnesota, as I understand it anyway, once you reach an agreement and file it with the court it becomes “final” 30 days later. We are very close to an agreement and if it goes to the court on Friday, it would become final on my birthday. I’m aprehensive about this because I don’t want to remember my divorce on my birthday for the rest of my life. You know:
unknown grandchild: “Happy birthday, grandma! You’re 100 years old! How fantastic!”
me: “Thank you, darling. And 55 years ago I was divorced from your grandfather.”
ugh.
So I just wish it could not be on my birthday…or even within a few days either side. I just know I channel my grandmother enough that it would come up every year. At least for the first ten or twenty!
Her father died on Christmas Eve when she was a teenager. My most lasting memory of my grandmother is her chastising all of us grandkids on Christmas that we had “better be good to me. I probably won’t be here next year!” I remember this from an early early age. Kindergarten age even. We’d all wonder what she meant. I remember asking one year: “Are you going on a vacation, grandma?” She was, um, direct. “No! I’ll probably die. And you would be sorry that you weren’t nicer to me this year.”
No lie. 40 years later I remember that exchange like it was last week. Better than most conversations from last week! You can’t make this stuff up.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…





December 30th, 2006 at 12:18 am
Perhaps they mean 30 business days? That would be great. I agree with the date thing. I have several of my own.
Tue Sep 05, 06:11:00 PM 2006
December 30th, 2006 at 1:26 am
I now have 2 divorces and the first one I remember with love and sadness, the second one? well every anniversary of it it a nice day to remember that I am not in that situation any more! I guess it depends why you are getting divorced.