Explain it to me again
I don’t get it. We are moments away. Inches. Mere jots of a pen away from this whole divorce thing being over and final and able to MOVE ON. Without having to go to court and incurring grand fees and costs.
I’m taking over almost all the debt because it got rolled into a home-equity line of credit. I’ve paid his car insurance, cell phone (his only phone for his children to contact him), life insurance and remaining credit card bills for the last 2 years.
He has known since BEFORE JULY that I want him to get a sign-off from a psychologist about the addictive internet behavior before I allow the boys to sleep over at his house. I also wanted him to provide actual beds for them. I know, I’m a b*tch. Save it.
Why is it now my problem, AGAIN, that he can’t get his act together to actually schedule the effing appointment?
My lawyer won’t send the final papers to the judge until we’ve had the appointment. If we don’t get it sent before October 23rd, we have to go to court. And people, it’s not going to be cheap and the judge is really unlikely to say “Well, gee. You guys are really close together on this agreement and since the only reason you had to come to me is that X couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t get this appointment taken care of, then X you have to pay ALL the court costs.”
It’s not going to happen. I’ll be forced to pay half. And I don’t have it people. It’s just not there.
And damn it, it’s just not right.
It’s not right that I had to call him this morning and ask him about it. His response (no lie) “What appointment? Oh, yeah, that! Yeah, well, I have an appointment to see my counselor. I’ll ask him about it then.”
(please please please do not overlook the conspicuous lack of a specific date that he is going to see his counselor. And please note that even from that point, it may be WEEKS before he gets another appointment scheduled.)
AND THEN PLEASE NOTE THAT I WILL BE FORCED TO DROP EVERYTHING ON MY SCHEDULE IN ORDER TO ATTEND SAID APPOINTMENT because I agreed to let him get by with an appointment with his own counselor instead of insisting he see one of the neutral experts I found thereby not having to attend myself. Not having to attend a session where his counselor attempts, yet again, to pat me on the head and tell me how “everybody does it” and “those pop-up sites are really hard to avoid.”
So then I called my lawyer.
My lawyer: Well, since he’s committed to making the appointment we could just go ahead.
Me: You don’t understand. The time difference between X committing to doing something and it actually getting done could be several life-times.
My lawyer: Oh. Well, maybe I’ll just hassle his lawyer about it.
Me: (thinking “great, I get to pay you to make that phone call because he can’t pull his head out of his A$%”) OK. That would be great. I’m getting angry at this situation now. Gotta go!
Explain it to me again. How do I always end up kicking his butt into gear?
And explain it to me again how it’s going to be any different when it comes to getting the rest of his crap out of the house.
I am so totally tired of tripping over all this stuff but I steadfastly refuse to pack it up because damn it! why should I pack it up for him? If I have to pack it, it’s going to be into boxes to ship off to some poor slug from eBay who buys all this stuff. Or, to not even pack it but to just toss it into a dumpster. Of course, it would be a dumpster I would have to arrange and pay for.
And explain it to me again why I am wasting all this time and energy at 11:15 at night being angry over a man who treats me this way?
eff it.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
December 30th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
I feel for you. I really do. That has to be so frustrating. When I and Rachel got a divorce, I gave her everything including the house and car. I walked away with little other than my computers, a new motorcycle, my clothes, and an expensive Infinity home theater. All I had to do was walk in a lawyer’s office and sign a few papers. Of course, the aftermath was grim for me as I so blithely signed everything over so carelessly. I just wanted out so freaking bad. I said to hell with material things such as a new Volkswagen beetle and wedding gifts. I walked away from that life to never return.
I wish you the most of luck in getting this resolved. Divorce is so tumultuous. I am always around if you need to vent privately via email. I think by reading this post that I have walked a few miles in your shoes.
Andrew
Tue Sep 26, 09:37:00 PM 2006
December 30th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
Andrew,
Thanks for your comment. Given how this feels, I’m sorry to hear you have gone through similar. It’s kind of like my migraines…I wouldn’t wish them on my enemies.
that you are putting your life back together gives me hope. keep writing.