A day to cuddle
Here’s what weather in Minnesota is like. Saturday it was 80 degrees, clear October skies, beautiful leaves on the trees. Today, there are snow flurries. The skies are grey and the wind is cold and the leaves are on the streets, making them glow gold and red. Wish I had a camera to capture some of this.
It’s a perfect day for cuddling up on the couch to watch silly old movies or read. Or make out.
Yeah. Not today. Ok. Moving right along.
I have had some really good, filling conversations the last couple of days with my clinical coordinator and my spiritual director. CC (clinical coordinator) suggested an exercise she assigns new nurses to help them be intention of recharging in order to avoid (or at least delay) burnout. This is exactly the kind of thing I need to be working on and it’s something I’ve been thinking about at least since August. She suggested to make a list of at least 20 things that “feed me.” Things I know work or things I want to try to see if they’ll work. Things that aren’t necessarily “doing” things, but “being” things (I struggle with that. A lot. Seems I can turn most anything into a ToDo list item.) Then, at the end of each week or couple of weeks, to review the list. If I haven’t taken time for at least 5-10 of those things over the time period, to know that I’m headed for burnout.
I find that it’s harder than expected to draw up that list. Some of the things that used to fill me in the past… I don’t know if they’ll be good for me now. Used to be that going out with friends to dance, or hang out energized me. Or having people over for dinner. The cooking part still is restorative. But sitting down with “only us” for a fancy gourmet meal seems a bit empty somehow. Yet, I don’t find I have the energy to convince people to come over. Used to be that playing music with people energized me. But again, I don’t have the energy (or time) to organize it. Used to be (long, long ago) that there was sex to make me feel alive again. Somehow going solo doesn’t make every cell come to life in the same way as sharing that with another human being does.
Maybe I’m turning into more of an introvert. Or maybe there’s a wise part of me that knows that I’m not quite ready to resume my extroverted party ways just yet. That I’m still a little too tender. Maybe I just need to wait a little longer. To focus on those other things on my list that are more “being” activities. Brushing the dog. Watching the wind. Listening to music (instead of playing it.) Reading. Knitting.
Maybe this kind of weather just make me feel a little lonely and wanting someone to notice and comfort me.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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The time has come 2007
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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The time has come 2007
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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The time has come 2007
December 31st, 2006 at 10:36 am
interesting stuff today. all things that I have asked myself over and over. one day at a time sister. one day.
the weather does play a part in it. pretty soon it will be the holidays and time to share with loved ones. but it is hard when there isn’t a significant other. kids are great, but we need that someone special to be there to experience it with us. I know how you feel. it sucks sometimes, but be glad that you have some you-time. I’m here if you need to talk.
Wed Oct 11, 12:51:00 PM 2006
December 31st, 2006 at 10:36 am
You’ll know when you’ll be ready to be an extrovert again. Or we can push you into it.
Wed Oct 11, 02:09:00 PM 2006