WARNING: This post is long and probably agonizingly detailed. Hey, it’s my blog. Scroll down or keep reading. Your choice.
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It was an interesting morning. I actually made it to the restaurant before the Sax Man, which turned out to be a good thing. By the time we left the line was almost out the door!

I sat in a booth facing the door and when he came in gave him a wave. He’s 6′3,” shaved head (alla Bruce Willis…balding but hides it by shaving) Van Dyke, glasses (kinda like these), black golf shirt (with black t-shirt underneath) and khaki colored kilt. Didn’t notice the shoes. Hey, he’s 6′3″…a little hard to take it all in in one glance. OH! I almost forgot. Really nice looking hands.

(True confessions time: I hesitate to look at a man’s hands in casual conversation, because I think that hands are one of my biggest…what’s the word…turn ons. There I said it. Anyway, if a man has attractive hands, I’m afraid that given my complete lack of a “poker face” I’ll start blushing or something and he’ll know exactly what I’m thinking. Which sometimes can be pretty embarrassing. So I don’t look. It feels like how some guys try try try not to look at your breasts.)

I had coffee, he drank tea (earl grey). We ate breakfast. And talked and laughed and generally had a pretty good time. It was a pretty even give and take conversation. We covered some unusual topics We talked about dating. This was based on the craigslist ad he answered. I said that it was going OK. I didn’t mention that he was only the third date so far…or that he was the third date this week. He mentioned that his challenge is that his daughter mostly lives with him and that some of the women he has seen, even the ones where they’ve “hit it off” had some difficulty with the unpredictability that is your schedule when you are a custodial parent of a teenager. As in…I think I’m hanging out with my kid tonight. And then a couple hours later, said kid is off to the movies with friends until midnight but other plans had already been made. And something about not being able to hang out at either house when the woman has kids too. And some strange mention of cars.

Or the birth control portion of the conversation. For instance that he’s told his daughter that he’d rather buy her condoms than have a grandchild…or a daughter with an STD. He then stumbled a bit around whether he uses them, has them, has use for them, etc. It was kinda funny, in an awkward flirty kind of way. Especially weird after the dating conversation.

He asked how long I’d been divorced. Yikes. So I hedged and said “Well, it depends on how you count it.” He laughed and said, “Well, like from when the judge banged the gavel.” Um. I lied. I said “a couple of months, but the whole thing has taken a long time so…”

That one might come back to bite me in the a$$. When it does, y’all have permission to shake your finger at me, I guess.

ANYWAY.

He plays and teaches saxophone. He attended several colleges. Berklee School of music in Boston which was one I had considered when I was in high school. He subs with bands around town.

We talked about religion (for instance “how to talk the ears off the Jehovah’s Witnesses”) and politics (a bit) and travel. Like I said earlier…wide ranging.

He had to go around 10:30 because he teaches at 11:00. He joked that this dating thing was like a job interview and wondered if he passed. At first I thought he meant it rhetorically. Surprised, I said, “Yeah. How about me?” Yup.

Ok. Well. There you go. On the printed page, not too different than the end of the other dates. But…

When we stand up to go and he totally gives me the once over as I stood up from the booth (which is not the most graceful move possible for the human body, you know?) Outside the restaurant we discover we’ve parked in opposite directions. He offers me my hand and says something about, “ok well, you’ve got my number” (he had sent in the last email.) I say (totally without thinking) something like “OK. So, am I in charge of setting up the next thing?” And other awkward moment (in a good way) where he says no, he’ll email me and stuff. And off I go to my car.

When I get home, I was overcome by insanity and actually emailed him this:

AR,
I enjoyed our time this morning. If I seriously passed the audition, it might be easier, what with both our schedules to just call rather than email. 612-xxx-xxxx.

If I may be so bold to suggest…if the weather, schedules and such align…maybe a motorcycle ride by the river?

Aack. I’m still so unclear on these “rules”…

have a great week,
Becky

To which he replied this:

I had a nice time too. Sorry it got cut short by other responsibilities, but such is the life of an artist, right

OH!! Guess what I discovered today? My student is almost tone-deaf!! I’ve been searching for two years for the reason or reasons behind his struggles, and today I came across the fact that he has no idea if he’s in tune or not!! We worked on ear training for about ten minutes and he could not sing, whistle, or even hum any of the notes I was playing on the piano!! Now I just have to decide what to do with this information . . .

Thanks for the phone number. I’ll be sure to abuse it properly! As for a motorcycle ride, that sounds fine. Tomorrow looks like a good day for one and a good excuse for me to get out of my home improvement project! What’s your availability should the weather hold up? By the way, it’s not too bold at all; you’re still well within the rules I’ll be in touch with you later. (generally, my motorcycle is just a cheap excuse to get women to put their arms around me, so I’m glad you brought it up first!).

Have a good day and take care . . .

So naturally, I spent the rest of the afternoon seriously distracted. Which was very enjoyable. At the same time, my inner mommy is saying “um. don’t get so distracted. remember, you’re just out here to have some fun. You do not need to make this into something more than it is.”

Ok mom. Point well taken. At the same time, I like the feeling of being at the top of the roller coaster.

Sadly, inner mom is still freaking out a bit because he actually called me late this afternoon to set up a time/place for a ride! (Inner Mom: a second date in 2 days?? This isn’t “taking it slow.”) He actually would have come here to pick me up…but I’d rather have the post-ride conversation someplace other than in front of my house. So we’re meeting tomorrow at 2:00 by the Longfellow Grill. He said after the ride, we could get something to eat. I’m delighted that he’s able to come up with a plan and now I can feel like I’m not driving every decision.

Inner Mom is chastising me because this is not a Dad weekend for the boys. I’m rationalizing it that this is going to be the last nice weekend before next spring and the boys will probably be out playing football at the park.

Probably should make arrangements for their dinner, I suppose.

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up 2008
random song reference 2007
SaxMan 2006
Too sweet for words 2006

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up 2008
random song reference 2007
SaxMan 2006
Too sweet for words 2006

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up 2008
random song reference 2007
SaxMan 2006
Too sweet for words 2006

Posted on October 14th, 2006 under dating. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.