Thinking too much
Not me. SaxMan.
We met for a scotch last night after choir. Lots of strange and wonderful conversation and laughter. Lots of kissing. (although not enough…but whatever.)
At one point though he said:
I’m just worried that you’re three months post divorce. I’d be more comfortable if you were seeing others as well. I’m not opposed to being Rebound Man, I’ve been that before.
Huh? You are thinking TOO MUCH. Let me ’splain it to you.
I’m just starting to rebuild my life. To refind myself. I can’t help it if there’s electricity here. I’m not complaining. And I don’t really think you are either. I am having fun. One of the main fun things in this is that I am NOT thinking. I’m perfectly OK with making mistakes. Big ones. No matter how old school I appear, I am NOT looking to start a new “relationship.”
In fact, I think that’s the LAST thing I want.
Right now anyway.
I’ve lived by the rules my whole life. Always overly cautious about what I did in order to be worthy to be…I don’t know what. I stayed in a marriage for over 20 years because the rules said “for better or worse.” I kept my needs and wants to myself because the rules (or at least the marriage counselors we saw) said that “you are a strong woman and you are intimidating and you need to hold back so that X (or friend, or boss, or co-worker, or…fill in the blank) doesn’t feel so intimidated.”
I want to be free to make some really blazingly stupid mistakes. Like getting mixed up with the wrong man. Like dating lots of interesting men and feeling the chemical spark more than once every five years or so. AND when I feel the spark DOING SOMETHING about it. Like daring to have sex…hell like WANTING to have sex.
Anyway.
So, all day I’m coming to terms with the fact that SaxMan is thinking way too much about this. It is clearly his problem more than mine. That I’m going to keep looking for men that interest me. To really not make this a bigger deal than it is.
And then, I check my email and find this:
Hi there,
I’m just getting ready to head out the door, but wanted to send you a
quick note of thanks for taking time out of your evening to buy me a
drink. It was as welcomed as it was un-necessary!I’m trying to put together the threads of conversation to see what
fabric we weaved, but I just remember having an enjoyable time. I think
that’s the main thing, don’t you?Have a good weekend and I’ll find you next week!
Take care,
See, now this would be all light and fluffy and no worries. Except what kind of a guy uses language like “put together the threads of conversation to see what fabric we weaved…”
It would be a lot easier to just kiss and move on if he were a bit less of a poet and a bit more of an ass-hole.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Grateful digest #19 2008
Just in case… 2007
keep racking up the points 2007
How cute is that? 2006
Laundry 2005
Cash down the drain - stinky too 2005
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Grateful digest #19 2008
Just in case… 2007
keep racking up the points 2007
How cute is that? 2006
Laundry 2005
Cash down the drain - stinky too 2005
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Grateful digest #19 2008
Just in case… 2007
keep racking up the points 2007
How cute is that? 2006
Laundry 2005
Cash down the drain - stinky too 2005
December 31st, 2006 at 11:29 am
hmmm, interesting. He sounds like a player. That’s just my opinion of course. Is HE dating more than one woman at a time? I say leave all your options open and say no to no one if asked out. Go out there and have some fun.
Fri Oct 20, 07:22:00 AM 2006
December 31st, 2006 at 11:30 am
“He sounds like a player.”
That exact thing crossed my mind too. Thanks for confirming my intuition on this.
Fri Oct 20, 08:00:00 AM 2006