Friday was a hard day for the on-call chaplain. Especially Friday night, when I attended a family whose 23 daughter was bleeding out from a rare fungal infection. They were a remarkable family who never let their dysfunction (that all families have) drive their treatment of each other, especially their treatment of the patient’s husband of 2 months.

Saturday night was another date with the SaxMan. We went to Keegan‘s kilt night and had a couple of scotch’s and some food then walked over to Nye‘s. He’d never been to Nye’s and I couldn’t really explain why he wasn’t missing much. It was a sight to behold the place on the Saturday night before Halloween.

We had some pretty great conversation and some pretty great kisses. We ended up in my car in the parking garage talking and making out and generally enjoying the “extra” hour at the end of daylight savings time.

I might be a little old to be leaning/laying/climbing over the center console of a standard transmission car to kiss some boy…no matter how nice and handsome he is. I have sore muscles in my back I had forgotten I have!

Sunday morning was an outstanding day at work. People appreciated what I do and actually told me to my face! What a remarkable occurance!

Yesterday, I had to give a verbatim report to my CPE group. Those always exhaust me emotionally. But I’m finding that it’s a good exhaustion. I feel like I’m not releasing toxins anymore. It’s a clean cry that, even though it wears me out, is not pulling me down to the depths of despair and depression as my tears have done before.

Maybe it’s good to pile this CPE on the heels of the end of the divorce and dating on the heels of that. Maybe it’s helping purge that grief from my soul so that I can start fresh. I’m beginning to actually grasp at the hope that there is a resurrection here for my life. That the next chapters will actually be different and better than the past chapters. That there is joy and happiness in store for me, and not just vicariously through my children or friends.

And it doesn’t hurt that there is someone to whom I am attracted that wants to spend time with me.

Abbagirl, I know you think he’s a player. He might be. I don’t know. I’m treading carefully and continuing to look and accept other offers for dates (not that they’re rolling in, but you know…)

It just doesn’t hurt to know that I am still attractive enough (mentally, physically) to at least one other person on the planet. Statistically that means there’s more, right Neil?

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

weak-end(s NOW) 2009
Weird Dreams #3 2008
I’m probably not doing it right 2007
A final whine before bed 2005
Step 1 finished: He’s got the papers 2005
Still Emotionally Absent 2005
wasting time on Monday 2005

October 31st, 2006 | Category: CPE, dating, my crazy life | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL