Bill the trainer
So today I went and met Bill the trainer. He answered my Craigslist ad looking for walking buddies (Hey, if I can’t find dates at least I could have someone to talk to while I lose weight?) Actually, it turns out that one of his “guys” (clients I think) saw the ad and forwarded it to him with the suggestion that he contact me.
Turns out he is a former pro athlete and has been 30 years a trainer of pro athletes. Kind of reminds me of Burgess Meredith in the Rocky movies. (Do I have that right? or was Burgess Meredith in Raging Bull?)
Anyway. You know what I mean.
Strange experience. I didn’t feel threatened physically at all. He verbalized and understood that I should have “my radar up” going into a situation like this. After all, it’s a gym in a building in his backyard and no one else was around that I could tell. I had put myself in a vulnerable position.
And then he wants to know why I don’t trust myself? Holy crap! I wanted some exercises to make my butt look better and he wants to know what makes me tick?
The worst part. The very worst part was when in the course of checking flexibility, he is helping pull my arm back and says “You have a lot of tension in your back.” (no shit!) None of the touching was sexual in nature but at one point he said “I can tell you haven’t been touched in a long time.”
F*ck.
Do I have a sign taped on my ass or something? How could he tell that in like 15 minutes?
He wants to know what my goals are? I don’t know. I’m still processing that he wants to know what happened in the divorce and how that relates to my weight gain/loss and that if I don’t fix the problems there we can lose all the weight you want but it will come right back on if there’s a set back or a disappointment.
F*ck.
Ok. Here are some goals. They are in no particular order:
- I want to feel better.
- I want to be healthier…specifically I want to avoid osteoporosis and keep blood pressure and cholesterol in check.
- I don’t want to be embarrassed to be seen naked by someone.
- I would like to be seen naked by someone again before I shrivel up and die.
- I would like to be able to go on canoe trips and backpacking trips and not worry/obsess about the work…just enjoy the trip!
- I would like to go on those kinds of trips with a handsome capable man who would take me along and not be irritated because I couldn’t hold my own.
- I don’t want to have to rely on the cute man to take care of me on a trip like that…mostly because I don’t trust that he would.
So he gave me some exercises to start with. I’m going back Wednesday morning. We’ll work on the trust thing. We’ll work on the weight thing. We’ll see.
It occurs to me that the serendipity involved with finding this guy is too weird.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
December 31st, 2006 at 4:57 pm
whew, I just caught up with all of your posts. I think I had a whole week to read up on. Sounds like you have been quite busy yourself. You are definitely braver than I to hang out with the personal trainer. It’s hard for me to take “constructive feedback” on my body.
well, don’t work too hard this week. What plans do you have for Thanksgiving?
Mon Nov 20, 08:11:00 PM 2006
December 31st, 2006 at 5:26 pm
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