it’s not scientific, but…
Last Friday I was on-call. It was 2 days before the full moon. It was, um, intense. I had about 12 referrals and at least 3 pages between 8-5. Luckily, no pages overnight.
Today? On-call again. 4 days after the full moon. 1 referral. To my own unit. No pages. All day. Tonight? So far, so good.
And still, some of the bone-wracking fatigue and lonliness I felt last week remains today. The irrational desire to have someone here to take my mind off what I did all day. To replace my awareness of the pain and frailty of the human condition with an awareness of the joy and pleasure of the human condition.
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I have been unable to find someone to go to the National Lutheran Choir concert with me tomorrow night. Norwegian Engineer is going up north to his parents’ cabin on the south shore of Lake Superior. I haven’t asked any of the other recent “coffee/beer” dates as none of them seemed anything more than vaguely aware that I have a masters in music. Seems it’s something they really can’t have a conversation about. Mostly they’ve been a bit uncomfortable that “liking music” didn’t mean having all the Neil Diamond records autographed.
Nor have I asked SaxMan. Mostly because I’m over-thinking the whole damn thing. When I write it out to explain it to you it sounds so ridiculous. So maybe I’ll just call him and let him decide. Nope. Not going to do it.
My gut is saying “take a break here.” I’m learning to follow my gut, even when it doesn’t quite make sense to my head.
Or I’ll just see if YM (housemate) wants to go and give up on the whole dating thing. At least for now. If she isn’t able to go, I’ll just donate the extra ticket back to the choir.
Starting tomorrow I want to focus my spare time that I’ve been using to cruise on-line ads, to get ready for Christmas and exercise…even if that means running the stairs for exercise. 1 pound a week from now until June 1.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Am I a bad Mom for saying “Yes”? 2008
Light 2007
dec 8, 1980 2005
Immaculate Conception 2005
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Am I a bad Mom for saying “Yes”? 2008
Light 2007
dec 8, 1980 2005
Immaculate Conception 2005
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Am I a bad Mom for saying “Yes”? 2008
Light 2007
dec 8, 1980 2005
Immaculate Conception 2005
December 31st, 2006 at 6:07 pm
I am right there with you on the poundage, dear. I could stand to lose a little weight. Go to the concert by yourself. Be the mysterious woman who shows up alone and holds herself with such confidence and poise. Leave knowing that it was a wonderful concert that you didn’t miss out on because there wasn’t anyone to go with. I am always here to listen if you need to bend an ear.
Fri Dec 08, 11:39:00 PM 2006