60
Dave Letterman is 60 today. Happy Birthday, dude.
Bruce Willis with the Sanjaya hair-do was worth staying awake for. He’ s such a doofus.
Anyway, I’m still up because I had to finish a deadline for LN. So, I skipped pilates to rest, but worked instead. And now I’m watching Letterman’s birthday show.
Question of the day:
I have to say this match.com thing really just isn’t working for me. Mostly because I’m honest in my profile and it seems there are not too many men in the twin cities who are willing to take a chance on an accordion playing church musician.
If I work at a church (and therefore, can’t date men from work or church) and work at home for far too many hours each week, where and when exactly am I supposed to be meeting all these interesting men with which to go on casual, and fun (but well behaved) dates when I’m sick and tired of all these on-line dating fiascos?
I ask because recently I keep running into this pollyanna storybook myth that “if you stop looking for it, someone to hug will arrive.” It just seems so like so much magical thinking to me.
The problem of course is that I would really like someone to hug. And I would like it if that person wanted to hug me, of course. I’m quite tired of having to convince someone that I need hugging and am worth hugging. But really, if I just work and go home to take care of kids, the dog and knit while I watch Letterman, I don’t know how this huggable person is supposed to find me. It’s all nice and romantic to think that he would, but come on. Just because I have a strong faith life doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.
And it’s not that I feel particularly incomplete or unfulfilled or need someone to complete me or think my life sucks because I don’t have a man in it. A lot of the time I wonder how I’d fit something more than this random “done in one” dating I’m doing into this crazy schedule of mine.
But I’ve been on about a dozen of these 1st dates that go nowhere and I’m feeling like I just would like someone to share things with. And I honestly don’t get how that’s going to happen if everything I’m so busy with doesn’t allow time for sifting through on-line profiles while at the same time not providing a “target rich” environment.
I know I only start obsessing about this late at night. Probably because that’s when I slow down enough to reflect on my day and wish there was someone to reflect with. (And I’m really tired of ending sentences with prepositions.)
Seriously. Any ideas?
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
April 13th, 2007 at 5:10 am
Start drinking too much. WAY too much. When you want to stop drinking, don’t stop. Keep this up until you NEED to stop and HAVE to stop and TRY to stop every day but can’t. Continue this for years.
Have a God-inspired, seemingly random, micro-white-light experience. Stop drinking. Go to AA. Meet people in AA. Meet someone in AA who is way out of your league but who is not your typical “type” who thinks you’re on the edge of sanity and possibly a heroin addict, and who avoids you. Make some friends who turn out to be that person’s friends. Discover that person is your neighbor.
Stalk that person in a non-sexual and non-threatening way. Leave random notes on their car about the migration patterns of birds,
music, other things. Be a stalker for friendship only.
Wait until the day where that person is so bored and lonely one day that they break down and come over to your house. Become friends with that person. Try to set that person up with one of your friends. Have it fail miserably. Have that person come to your house one night in a really sad mood, and have a big ol’ cry in your room. Comfort that person without the specific intention of the smooch that follows.
Like the smooch. Repeat smooch.
— and that is the *only* method that has ever worked for me, in terms of a successful method for finding a long-term relationship.
— please note: it has only worked for me once.
April 13th, 2007 at 10:06 am
no ideas, but if you find some good ones let me know, because I have the very same problem. Including the knitting. I mean, who doesn’t love to knit? (I’m working on some slipper, what ahve you got?) And Match.com? hated it. The men there didn’t like ME either.
And it drives me crazy when people tell me to stop looking. Can’t stop looking, I have a biological need to find a mate or at least, I have an inclination to lookt at men and consider them. sheesh.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:01 am
You want some ideas? You asked for it!
1. The gym
2. The park
3. Hardware store
4. Bar - more where there are live bands playing
5. Sporting events
6. Table for Eight - They have one in Minneapolis
7. Try a different online service and don’t be that honest. What I mean is don’t give them everything before they even meet you. Be very basic when it comes to info about yourself. For example, here is what I would say for me:
I am 32 and a single, full-time career mom. I am 5′11″ with more body than I care for. What does a single mom like myself have to offer? Well, let me count the ways! I enjoy going to sporting events, musicals, and museums. I love to travel and see the world, but I am equally grounded for home life. I love meeting new people and am interested in finding someone who shares the same interests as me. I am not looking for a serious relationship, but time will tell.
(gasp), that was indeed cheesy, was it not? But it only took me seconds to type. I would go into more details about yourself after you have met them. This will give them something to find out on their own.
Just a thought/suggestion. BTW - the guys in your town are obviously blind if they can’t see what a unique and genuine person you are.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:07 am
I am so there with you. I so want to have a husband and share my life with some one but I keep coming up against one failed relationship after another.
April 13th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Yes!! Plan for September!!!!
April 13th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Rich- you are one amazing dude. this story sounds like a made for TeeVee Lifetime movie. Except I’m sure (as I said at your place) that Maggie kicks your butt far more than the chicks in Lifetime movies ever would.
Abbagirl74 - You are probably right. Too much info in them thar profiles. No mystery. I struggle with the whole “playing coy” thing and usually err on the side ofe being “too direct.” heh,heh
Ginamonster - don’t worry! Any learnings will be shared with the innerwebs via this here space.
Diva - Not sure I want a “husband.” Mostly because the word conjures up images of someone else I have to take care of. I guess it’s just the word that’s still bothering me a bit. The concept of partner is what I’m after.
Abbagirl- YIPEE! We could have us a little blogger party. oooh. I get all tingley at the thought of it!
April 13th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
How about joining a book group, or some other mixed sex hobby. Her in Seattle we love our outdoors, the Mountaineers club here even have hikes for Singles. I’ve heard they are really fun and there’s no pressure to date. It’s just an chance to meet new opportunities. Maybe you’ll met another woman and you two will start to hang-out and her brother ends up being the love of your life.
Life and love is just funny like that, you never know how it’s going to turn out.
-P
April 13th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I know it is cliche but I met my mate right after I decided I was done dating around and meeting lots of a**holes. My brother introduced us and the rest is history. So maybe see if friends/relatives have acceptable date material among them. But proceed with caution, you know, cuz blind dates can be tricky.