Only a year ago?
I usually put these little road markers at the bottom of the day’s post. But this was a big day. This was the day that I learned X had finally gotten his own attorney. He had been served the papers 30 days before. He had waited until the last minute to respond. I didn’t know how he was going to respond for those 30 days. He never mentioned it. Ever. Typical for him. And it kept me anxious and wondering and fearful waiting for the response. Would he be full of rage? Beg for reconciliation? Resigned? Petulant? Sorrowful? Blaming? WHAT?? I didn’t know.
It needed it’s own post.
A year ago on This Journey, I was starting to freak out a bit. It’s kind of amazing to look back at all the ground I’ve covered since that day and still be able to remember that feeling vividly. The raw panic of that day when I learned that he wasn’t going to argue about it anymore. And now, here I am: safely on the other side. Able to look at that scared, panicked woman and have compassion on her, but not feel it anymore. To not feel rooted in that pit, as I feared I would be. It’s like looking back across the Grand Canyon at the Me that I was last year. Recognizing both what she was feeling and recognizing that I’m not feeling any of that anymore.
It did stop!
Thank God.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
June 19th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Yay! It would have been nice not to have had to experience all of that, but it’s so great for you to be able to know you got through it without breaking. Praise God!
June 19th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
That was only a year ago? I had no idea.
Amazing, what happens one day at a time.
June 19th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Rich,
Yeah, ain’t it? But that was 18 months after I had to ask him to leave the house until he had gotten help and about 10 months after he stopped inviting me to his counseling appointments. I knew when he had to leave that that was that, but I kept thinking “I should give him a chance.” Plus I needed a year with my own counselor to get healthy enough to take that last step.
June 19th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
What a difference a year makes. Thank goodness you’re so strong.
June 20th, 2007 at 12:08 am
I wish the divorce rate in this country wasn’t so high. It seems to me an epidemic of sorts. Evert thing in our world is moving so much faster. I wonder if we have a hard time keeping up with technology, other people, and ourselves, or if it’s something else entirely.
I suppose it goes without saying, but still, I wish you hadn’t had to go through all that. It sounds so naive in today’s modern world, but I don’t think we should give up on finding that genuine connection with another person. One who is not just a lover, but our best friend, and our soul mate.
-P
June 20th, 2007 at 12:15 am
Proxima,
I think it’s a lot of things. One of the most complex problems we face.
All I know is that I tried for over 20 years to make it work.