feeling like an idiot this morning
Mr. Hockey and I had a lovely evening. We had a bratwurst dinner he cooked while we played Parcheesi. No, really we did. There were a few rule modifications…..but we did play Parcheesi. Very interesting rule modifications and kudos to the rules committee on that….
But that’s not why I’m feeling like an idiot.
I’m feeling like an idiot because I told him. I told him I think I’m falling for him. I told him that it scares the hell out of me. And then I started crying.
And not pretty little movie tears. Big soul-racking sobs that make snot and water come out of your entire head.
He had said some things first, last Sunday. I wasn’t that big of an idiot!!! He has said he “cares deeply” for me.
But to start crying like it was the end of the world. And I think I might have said some really stupid childish things that I really don’t want to remember in another few hours even, so I’m not going to write them down here!
Oh hells.
He was kind, if confused. Who wouldn’t be when crazy comes out of the box like that? He agreed, yes, “everyone is afraid” and “we’ve both been kicked around a little” and some other similarly comforting things. I think. I don’t know.
We have Guthrie tickets tonight. We’ll see how it goes.
Well, it was nice while it lasted.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…No other posts on this day.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…No other posts on this day.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…No other posts on this day.
August 23rd, 2007 at 11:34 am
HAHAHA! Stop beating yourself up. I’m sure you did not scare him off. I’ve had a couple simliar meltdowns with The Manager. Scary stuff.
August 23rd, 2007 at 11:51 am
“cares deeply” is strong emotions for a guy hang in there
August 23rd, 2007 at 1:14 pm
If that scared him off, he’s a wuss and doesn’t deserve you. I bet he was probably touched by it, though.
August 23rd, 2007 at 10:27 pm
I think crying in front of him was beautiful. He’s one lucky man to have such a wonderful woman as yourself. I hope he realizes that.
August 25th, 2007 at 7:35 am
this makes me smile, having read it after reading your post about saying “IT”. When I heard how Steam felt about me recently, I just started to cry my eyes out and he thought I was sad and upset but it was more just all the emotions and some fear (but a good kind of fear) about feeling so much.