This Journey » Try to remember

Try to remember

Note: sometime before 4:17 p.m. central daylight time, This Journey had it’s 10,000th visit. Since the new year when I moved here to Wordpress. Amazing.

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December, it’s nice to remember,
The fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

September 1st. Where the heck did the summer go?

YM moved out this morning. It took all of 1 hour. And that included me driving a few boxes over to her new place. It was an excuse really. It all would have fit into the SUV that B&J from her church brought. It would have been tight, but they would have made it. But this way, I got to see her new place and meet her new house-mate. It’s a beautiful room. Bright and spacious. Bigger by at least 1/2 to the room she had here. And no remnants of a 12 year old boy hanging on the walls…no Pokemon or Twins posters. Fresh paint. Clean curtains. A little sitting room separate from the alcove where the bed is. Just beautiful. I held myself together until I walked out with B&J to the curb and we were getting into our cars. They were going to continue to see her regularly because J is the custodian at the church where YM works. And the two of them are friends. I thanked them for taking care of her. Then I started to cry a little bit. We are going to miss her.

The boys left for the Twins game while I was gone. X’s sister had the company box seats. He had asked me on Thursday night if it would be OK for the boys to go with him. Even though it wasn’t his weekend with them. How could I say “No?” How could I keep my teenage boys who are typical boys and know everything about every professional team sport in the universe, play multiple sports (including baseball) and have fantasy baseball teams from free box seats to the Twins game?

He does this to me all too often. Getting tickets to something “fun” on the nights/days that the boys are with me. Cements his position as the “fun” parent. I hate it. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m the one that has to say things like “clean your room” and “mow the lawn” and “empty the dishwasher” and “don’t call your brother names.” X is the one who takes them to the Twins game, to rock concerts, to M&N’s farm. X has cable. And they “visit” him, which means they are visitors and have the responsibilities of visitors. At my house, they are part of a family. Part of a group of people who are trying to keep it together. Trying to keep the chaos at bay and barely winning.

And I hated it today because they left for 6 hours. Enough to wear them out but not enough time for me to make other plans. And not enough notice for me to have made other plans. So I’m left doing my un-fun domestic stuff by myself, without the other people who live here helping. Sooooooo frustrating.

I talked with Mr. Hockey today after the boys left. He has actually worked on a calendar proposal for his X that would allow us (me and Mr. Hockey) some weekend time together. It’s amazing and wonderful and scary to me that someone would want badly enough to spend time with me that he would actually make schedule adjustments in order to do so….not just talk about making changes but actually try.

There is also a cautionary voice in my head that says “Making this effort is a good sign, but not reason enough to make a relationship. Be sure that there’s more to it than just a man that wants you.” I don’t know which voice is more ridiculous; that one or the one that answers in a snotty teenager voice saying “I know! Geez! Don’t you trust me about anything??”

I picked away at the basement and got pretty far on my bedroom. I had to go buy a new vacuum cleaner because I’ve been unsuccessful in finding a shop that will repair the old one. I have never in my life spent more than $75 for a vacuum. Today I became an adult and bought this:

but it was the Breast Cancer Donation model….so it’s PINK. Both boys commented that they weren’t going to be caught dead using a pink vacuum cleaner. Whatever. Like they ran the other one all that often anyway!

So I spent too much money on it. And I’ll probably regret it when it turns out to be as crappy as every other vacuum I’ve ever had. But it works pretty good today and I really was able to vacuum all the stairs with the thing at the bottom.

I also stopped at the butcher shop so the boys and I are going to grill tonight and Monday. Steak one night, ribs the other. End of summer needs to be celebrated!

Regarding the following clip: I saw them live in 1980. It was unbelievably awesome. I believe these white pants rival the white trousers of Neil’s and Abbagirl’s favorite of the era.

Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya – say do you remember
Ba de ya – dancing in September
Ba de ya – never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay

Now December found the love that we shared in September.
Only blue talk and love,
Remember the true love we share today

Ba de ya – say do you remember
Ba de ya – dancing in September
Ba de ya – never was a cloudy day

Ba de ya – say do you remember
Ba de ya – dancing in September
Ba de ya – golden dreams were shiny days