This Journey » unsettled and jumpy, but why?

unsettled and jumpy, but why?

Big fat whiny post follows. You have been warned.

Here are some possible reasons I’m feeling “off” today.

We’ve had nothing but low stratus cloud cover for 7 full days. Today finally dawned clear but too soon to have an effect on my mood.
My mom was freaky yesterday when I visited. (again. I know. A shock.) We were supposed to go visit Grandma, but of course Mom had made an overlapping appointment with my brother to fix printers. Also, when I tried to use her as a sounding board around refinancing and remodeling the bathroom, she freaked out. Getting completely angry (as in flinging around the ‘F’ word) about the fact that I won’t have to sell my house when DS2 turns 18 but she did. Because you see, everything is always and forevermore about her. And if I got a better MTA than she did 25 years before mine, it’s not because I took any of her advice, or because laws had changed. It’s because the world is out to screw her. I got up and said I needed to leave. She replied with “Don’t I have a right to freak out?” Of course you do, mom. But I didn’t bring up the subject to upset you or to compare and contrast your life with mine, or anything like that. I actually brought it up to talk about myself and my current situation. My bad.
It could be because it’s Oct 13 and I have to go finish my taxes. Yes, I filed an extension. And yes, I’ve procrastinated getting them done until the last minute. I hate this shit. I hate that I have to go to my mom’s office and she’s going to be pissed because I got up to leave yesterday and my sister, who still hasn’t called me will defend her and be pissy too. Enough said.
It could be because I’m playing chauffeur to DS2 today to soccer and then to a birthday party. And DS1 won’t let me know in advance what his plans are so any hope of popping in on the St. Paul Art Crawl is iffy at best.
DS1 is ornery and I won’t be here to crack the whip and make sure the lawn gets mowed and the hoses put away and the garage gets cleaned up so I can park in it again. It’s October in Minnesota, people. There’s a limited amount of time to get this stuff done. But he was out with friends last night until after midnight, so I’m sure he feels entitled to sleep until after noon.
It could be because I have lots to do inside the house too. It’s been a busy week and there’s dishes in the sink. All the laundry is done but it’s in baskets in the laundry room and needs to be brought upstairs, folded and put away.
I need to send out music for the festival. Some people haven’t sent me their addresses yet, but our first rehearsal is in two weeks. Tick Tock.
I have to go have my picture taken for the new member board…I’m finally transferring my membership to the church I worked at as interim music director and hope that I’ll be starting an internship there in February. All signs are good, so might as well get ‘er done.
I had a good conversation with a pastor in Dakota county who is starting a new mission church. She’s looking for a PT musician who also wants to be a co-conspirator (con=with; spir=breath as in inspiration) in this church that’s focused on social justice and service to the community. Needs someone to start soon as they’ll be starting Sunday worship in December. It’s out by my mom’s place. Yeah. God is HI-larious.
It could be because even though we had a lovely dinner with Z&A on Thursday night, Mr. Hockey and I haven’t had any private time together since last weekend. (ahem)
It could possibly, slightly potentially be just a teeny bit hormonal. Maybe. But given all the rest of that shit wouldn’t anybody be on edge???