up past midnight…again
The festival started today. I’m a little disappointed in the turn out. Hopefully tomorrow today will be better. I didn’t have a lot to do, but I got a fair bit further on the sock I’m knitting while baby-sitting the CD table.
I left around 3:30 and stopped by the butcher shop to order the turkey for Thanksgiving. (18-20 lb. fresh bird, since instead of 10 for dinner, it’s looking more like 17.) Got a steak for the boys and I to have for dinner.
DS1 left around 6:00 to have another dinner with C. And then to go play capture the flag with a bunch of friends at the park. DS2 stayed home and played X-box mostly, I think. I went to the theater around 7:00. The show ran a little long tonight and for some reason there was a fairly long delay getting out of the ramp. So I didn’t get home until a little after 11:00.
I can’t ever just go to sleep after a show. Too wound up.
And tonight I’m frankly too wound up about this whole thing with Mr. Hockey too. When I’ve mentioned the situation to people IRL…who have not met him, and who only are just hearing about the relationship, their response is along the lines of “buh bye.”
I get that. I really do.
But I feel like there has to be a conversation first. I have to feel like I actually gave him a chance to explain, to discuss and maybe even to make a plan.
There are some non-negotiables that I’m discovering.
I don’t want to be the hidden GF. I need an integrated relationship or at least understand the time line for moving toward that. There’s some other stuff too, but now that I start to write, I’m getting tired. I know that’s an emotional response…to start to shut down like that. It’s a practiced response to giving too many “chances” to X. Mr. Hockey, unfortunately for him, will not have unlimited 22 years of chances.
It may be harsh but I have a pretty good idea of the response I need to see to stay. It’s not an answer per se (although the long-term answer must be integration) but rather how he deals with this process. How he answers my questions and whether he follows through on what he says. And of course, all that needs to be explained clearly by me.
So, you see, there’s lots to be wound up about.
Not to mention the now “extra” ticket to the Beckham soccer game tomorrow.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
November 11th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Take it from me, (the woman who gives way too many chances) you don’t want to give him too much rope. I found out after the fact that the last guy I dated was making a big point to correct anyone who called me his girlfriend, and now is telling people that we never dated. Really? What do you call what we had for five months? I remember one time even saying, ” I don’t want to be your secret girlfriend” and he assured me that I was not. Huh? I don’t know why guys want things to get so stupid? Is it fear, or is it that they still want to be available to other women? I may never know.
November 11th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
Just saw a commercial where a woman couldn’t handle the turkey (must’ve been 25#) and ended up throwing it out the kitchen window. Yours is a little big, good luck!