My mom’s family, being Scandinavian and all, made and makes a much bigger deal of Christmas Eve than of Christmas Day.

So today is the big day. The day that all the preparation has been aimed. The deadline.  It’s not the final day of preparation. That was yesterday and I was too exhausted to see much less write a few words.

Today, so far, it’s just all anticipation of exhaustion.

I got the boys up around 10 and got them out to shovel (we’ve had 2 days of snow that they kept putting off, but now I have to get the car out of the garage.) I lost my shit a little bit when one was asking to use the neighbor’s snowblower and the other thought they should just shovel. I don’t really care.

Well, that’s a lie. I think living on the corner with a big pad type driveway, I do care. It’s a lot of hand shoveling and if they’d use the snowthrower it would go faster and they would get from edge to edge better. But the neighbor has already left for her relatives and the thrower was locked in the garage. So they had to shovel by hand. And I felt bad and lost my shit and yelled at them about not getting out to shovel last night when the neighbor was still home, blah blah blah.

So then I walked up to the baker to get a yulekakka. Because I didn’t bake yesterday. Because all I was doing was laundry and cleaning. And my kitchen still isn’t clean. But whatever.

DS2 is in the shower. DS1 is next. I’m starting to pack the packages and food up to load the car. We should hopefully be at my mom’s by around 1 or 1:30. It will be a “lovely” 9 hours of passive agressive preparation and feasting. And then at 9:00p.m. I’ll need to load up the boys and the dog and whatever presents and head home, so that I can drop the dog at the house and get back to church by 10:30.

I’m taking my imitrix so hopefully I’ll be covered on the migraine front.

I’m trying very very hard to see the beauty and joy that surrounds and fills my life. After two days of almost whiteout type snow here, the morning dawned clear blue and sunny. It’s beautiful outside. The temperature is moderate (20’s) and the roads have been plowed….mostly.

My boys are calm and respectful of me, even if they’re not over eager to fold laundry or shovel snow and even if they put any problem solving/critical thinking skills on hold when asked to help clean. (i.e. “how do I get the dust off the TV?)

Mr. Hockey called this morning before he piled his kids in the car to drive 12 hours to his mother’s house. I expect I’ll get a call from him sometime tomorrow, too.

I have friends who are willing to help me out with my little hospital trip, even if they are unable because they’re out of town.

My house is warm and well lit and I’ve been able to provide adequate food and clothing for my children.

I just got off the phone with the pre-surgery center and I’m good to go for Thursday. (if only my house were cleaner I could relax about Mr. Hockey spending 4 days here starting on Saturday.)

But I know that I’m just obsessing about pointless shit. Hey. It’s how I was raised. I can try to break the cycle and usually do a pretty good job of being “functional.”

May your Christmas be fun even if it can’t be functional. And remember, Jesus’ family was nuts too.

Peace.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Christmas Lullaby 2007
Christmas Eve 2006 2006

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Christmas Lullaby 2007
Christmas Eve 2006 2006

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Christmas Lullaby 2007
Christmas Eve 2006 2006

Posted on December 24th, 2007 under holidays. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.