It’s one thing to find yourself at the bottom of the overwhelmies by surprise. It’s quite another to see it approaching. To watch the activity in your life increase, and increase and increase. And to know at some cellular level that the frantic out-of-control feeling is bearing down on you and will crash over you soon.Seeing it coming doesn’t help.Work is insane. Certifiably. There are too many projects with too short deadlines and too many people not giving me the information needed to get my job done. And the deadlines continue to shift as if Loki were in charge of them!

At the same time, I’m excited about my internship starting and I’m beginning to add some of those activities (1:1 conversations, planning forums, etc.) into my schedule. I’m nowhere near the 20 hour average but my daily schedule of required activities is beginning to feel like I’m packing 60 pounds into a 40 pound sack.

I tend to be an “organized” person. You know, one of those persons who makes weekly menus and blocks out time for “relaxation” on her calendar. It is admittedly a coping mechanism meant to give me the illusion of control. But when I look at the next several weeks I don’t see enough “relaxation” written on there. For instance, time with Mr. Hockey is again limited by parenting time circumstances.

In a parenting time shift, my boys will be with me this Thursday (usually a date night.) I can’t blow off choir tonight because I’m filling in for SB while she goes to her mother’s retirement celebration on Sunday. And we have our children and accompanying schedules this weekend. Next Thursday might be a possibility but the weekend is messed up again. Mr. Hockey has his son on the 26th because his daughter is going to a figure-skating show with her mom that day (and a 10 year old boy really doesn’t want to spend the day at a figure-skating extravaganza.)

So that means the next time we can spend time together is the 27th. Except I have Epiphany Vespers that evening.

That makes 3 months in a row where we’ve had very limited time together. There’s no one to “blame” because it just is what it is. But I’d like it to be different.

So work and internship are increasing the pressure, my social life is limited by parenting time issues and I have a To Do list at the house miles long.

The observant may note that I still haven’t managed to schedule in time for “exercise.” And by exercise I mean walking. Not marathon training or rock climbing or white-water kayaking or even going to a gym. Just simple 30-45 minutes of walking. But it must get put in there! Somehow. But what will have to come off the list in order for this to be put on? Laundry? Cooking? Sleeping?

And there is nothing to suggest that this is going to let up any time soon. In fact the internship will be 2 years long.

It’s not like the Overwhelmies are sneaking up on little cat feet. It’s more like they’re coming around the hill complete with drum and bugle corps.

Something is going to have to give. I just don’t want it to be my sanity again.

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

I can’t believe what I did today 2007
Blogger down 2007

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

I can’t believe what I did today 2007
Blogger down 2007

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

I can’t believe what I did today 2007
Blogger down 2007

Posted on January 16th, 2008 under Mental Health, balance, self-care. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.