Oh friends. My brain has been addled with all sorts of tomfoolery these last several days (and weeks.)

I’m staring down the barrel of a cannon’s worth of activity: TWO jobs, plus single parenting, plus Mr. Hockey; and all I can think of is adding more into the mix. What’s up with that??

I am desperately wanting to get started (well, hoping that I can get started) on re-doing the bathroom. I still can’t come home and have a calgon moment and I am going to need to do that pretty darn soon! And anyone who knows about remodeling projects will tell you that they are not plug-n-play affairs. And, not easily managed at arms length, either.

Above and beyond that, my mind is drawn to gardening. And canning and making jelly and jam. And baking and maybe buying a new freezer and a side of beef.

It all comes down to a huge and overwhelming urge to NEST.

Good Lord, I don’t think I’ve been this overwhelmed by the nesting thing since I was moments from meeting DS1 or DS2!

Maybe that’s what Sunday’s unease was? A feeling like something that’s been gestating is finally going to come to birth? Complete with the requisite nesting urge?

I actually bought a book this week called “The Big Book of Preserving the Harvest.” And I’ve been researching community garden plots and trying to figure out if it’s too soon to start potato plants indoors.

Help! I’m dreaming of gardening and I can’t stop!

I’ve researched keeping chickens in the city (it’s permissible! who knew?)

Probably the most sane thing I did was realize that I won’t possibly be able to sustain this urge to plant and grow and put-by until spring, so I bought a share in a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm. Once a week a big box of organic, locally grown produce will be mine beginning in May and going until the end of the year. And every other week a box of locally grown (also organic, I think) fruit.

So I can eat and feed my children low on the food chain, support a local farmer, support sustainable agriculture and not have to actually roto-till my backyard to do it. Sane. Smart. Ecological. Right? RIGHT???!!!

But I keep thinking, noodling, researching. Like picking at a scab.

And one of the weird things I find is (yes, there are lots of weird things: worm composting in your kitchen? How about fermenting your garbage with some Asian named micro-organism?) if you go far enough to the left, you come around and meet up with the right.

I enter the eco-friendly neo-hippie natural life style from the left. Live gently on the earth. It’s all a web, we’re all connected. Go a little further and make some clothes: knit a few pairs of socks and mittens. Maybe a sweater. Add a little rain-water reclamation to water your garden and a few solar cells. Ride your bike, take short showers, eat slow food.

But pretty soon, you find yourself clicking links about making jams and jellies and canning tomatoes and what to do with all that zucchini and you’re face to face with post-apocalyptic survivalists, right-wing separatists, self-sufficient-ists, and neo-nazis who are trying to educate their followers on how to prepare for “after the tribulation.”

It’s weird. And probably has some significance. But I’m kind of not sure how to connect the dots.

All I can think about is whether I should add a root-cellar underneath the front porch or under the stairs.

If we can use past behavior to predict future behavior (thanks Dr. Phil!) I will get over this in a couple of more days. Weeks at the most. The urgency to do will wane. And without dropping a couple of Franklins on worm bins.

It’s the backlash of only being able to stare off into the mid-distance for the last three weeks. And let’s be honest here. It’s not as if I’ve actually been doing anything. Only thinking about doing something. Ok, lots of somethings. But still, just thinking.

I might start a tray or two of seeds, but not until March or April. And now that I’ve got a share of produce all paid for, I don’t really need to plant eleventy-three tomato plants. But maybe I might plant one or two.

And maybe some flowers. Some zinnias would be nice.

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— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

45 2009
Summer trippin’ 2007
2,009 2007
Where’s my gold star? 2007
Oh! So that’s why! 2007

January 31st, 2008 | Category: balance, food, gardening | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL