There’s a lot of talk today about journeys and process.

Today is the beginning of the Christian season of Lent, a time to reflect on one’s spiritual life and to remember the whole death and resurrection part of the Jesus’ story.

Today there are large groups of people (campaign workers and candidates) who thought maybe possibly last night would give them some insight about whether their campaign journey was ending. Turns out the tea leaves of Super Tuesday aren’t clear enough and everyone is picking up their satchels and getting back out on that campaign trail.

In fact, I’m working on a great story about my experience at my caucus. Complete with pictures!

This Journey, (the one over here, that’s all about me) is also taking some interesting turns. Turns I’m not really ready to describe in detail yet, but which make me feel alternately resigned, angry, frustrated, exuberant, exhausted, hopeful, energized, determined, proud and probably a dozen more. All just as seemingly random but which are all actually connected by the fact that they are the ocean in which I’m swimming.

The one thing I do feel prepared to document today is a feeling I like to call YGTBKM. Yeah, I don’t know how to pronounce it either. It stands for “You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me.” Is it an actual emotion, documented and cataloged in the annals of psychology. Probably not. Or it’s called something else. I don’t care.

Here’s the deal. And this is an open letter to the Universe…

I am a bi-vocational (read 2 jobs that realistically equate to about 65 hours a week…on a good week), divorced mother of two active teenage boys. I bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and wash the damn pan and everyone’s dishes after they’ve gotten up from the table to go do homework.

I also make time to foster relationships that are important to me…as part of my self-care and circles of support.

Because the fact is I make a herculean effort to make time for YOU.

I am COMPLETELY and INTIMATELY aware of the toll of trying to do all that and have a social life. You could not possibly find a person more sympathetic to the struggle of finding and/or maintaining balance.

Occasionally, before you start rationalizing and making excuses about why you can’t pick up the phone or reply to an email, or how you “haven’t had enough time to be me” you might possibly consider spending 2.5 seconds asking about how I’m feeling about the same issues (or even about my health!)

A possible opening gambit might go something like: “Wow! Your internship has started now. You’re going to be really busy. Should we talk about how we’re going to stay connected with your schedule getting so busy?”

Or: “Wow! I feel just swamped with the busy-ness of my schedule lately! I bet you do too!”

Or even: “Hey, you weren’t feeling so good last week. How’s that going?”

Because right now? The “fall off the face of the earth” method with post-mortem excuse making isn’t really working for me.

I maybe can’t control a lot about This Journey, but I sure as hell plan to surround myself with traveling companions that are able to lift their heads from watching their own feet long enough to see if I need a hand over a boulder or two.

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Not my first rodeo 2007
whew 2007
And now the snow 2007

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Not my first rodeo 2007
whew 2007
And now the snow 2007

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Not my first rodeo 2007
whew 2007
And now the snow 2007

Posted on February 6th, 2008 under balance, dating, friends, self-care. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.