Frustration abounded today. Lots of little reasons that have just been going on and on. In and of themselves probably not any one of them is a big deal. All together and added up over the last several days (maybe a week) and I spent most of my time with my trainer trying not to cry.

1. My shoulder is hurting today. A lot. I’ve tried to take it easy and use the ibuprofen and keep looking for the stupid ice bag. But today I could barely put on my jacket, much less open doors or carry a bag. And let’s not talk about trying to get in or out of an exercise bra with a punky rotator cuff.
2. People are coming over tonight and my house when I left it this morning was a garbage pit. When I came home, I realized the boys had put me off long enough that they were unavailable to help. DS1 is in St. Cloud tonight for a baseball tournament and DS2 had another baseball game from 5:30-8:00…so he didn’t even come home from school.
3. My work computer kept getting blue screens. So finally tech support agreed to wipe it and reinstall everything. If only. Yesterday, I discovered I couldn’t join the conference call webinar because they hadn’t reloaded the webex meeting manager. Nor could I get onto Outlook email because they hadn’t done something else. And they’d put my email archive on the X drive, so I had to recreate one on the C: drive before I could even open the program…all so it wouldn’t connect and I had to use the web-based version anyway. And that’s just the stuff that I had to deal with today on it.
4. I have two projects due next week and still haven’t been given the raw data.
5. DS1’s b-day is Monday. Found out from DS2 that he wants an iPod. He wouldn’t tell me himself. When I emailed X to see if he’d go halfsies, he was all like “oh, yeah. he really wants one of those. has for a while.” Why don’t my kids tell me that stuff? All I get is “I dunno.”
6. I’m working my butt off to take care of everybody around me and I’d really really really like to feel like someone would once in a while, for like maybe an hour, take care of me.
7. Trainer Lady asked what I was doing for mother’s day and I said “confirming DS2, having my mom and sister over for dinner, having DS1’s birthday too.” “Are you going to get to do something for yourself?” “probably not. See it doesn’t really pay. When taking time (or money) out to do something for myself just adds work to my plate later because I have to work twice as hard to catch up with all the stuff that didn’t get done while I was off “taking care of myself.” It’s a trap.
8. Certain people who said the weren’t ignoring me actually seem to be ignoring me since I haven’t heard from them all week. And I know I could call, but at what point do you switch from being proactive assertive and healthy to hanger-on, stalker and annoying? and And AND I hate feeling like I have to be passive and wait for someone to call me in these types of situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. I haven’t had a hug (and by hug I mean grown-up hugging) given to me in three and a half months.

So I’m telling all this to KA, who I called to give hell to because she wasn’t showing up to this dinner tonight and it was going to me and all the newbies. And no one to debrief with afterwards. And at the end of the litany of woe, I made some crack about the pity party being over now because I hate feeling like a victim-y whiner (keep it down over there! I spew forth this crap here because there’s nowhere else to purge it.)

Anway, she said, “sometimes it’s justified. Sounds like you have a lot of crap going on right now.”

It’s kinda weird, this being heard thing. I’ll have to try it again, soon.
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

three great quotes for the day 2007
An email gem 2007

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

three great quotes for the day 2007
An email gem 2007

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

three great quotes for the day 2007
An email gem 2007

Posted on May 9th, 2008 under my crazy life. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.