rattling around

I’m a little unbalanced with the boys out of town. Last night in bed at 9; tonight up until 11. Not eating regularly or well. I have to meet my trainer at 8:30 tomorrow morning and then race to the office for a 10:00 meeting that won’t be a fun one.

The hidden agenda, back-biting and manouvering has begun. All that I dreaded last summer when offered the opportunity to return to FT corporate work.

Right now - this week - I still report to LN, the work is still managable (read: easy) and I’m still able to work up to two days a week from home (when meetings allow.) But that’s going to be changing soon with everything that I’m hearing and I have to decide what I’m going to do about that. I’m anxious to hear about JB’s conversation with the new CEO and even more anxious to hear the outcome of JJ’s dinner meeting with him. (The details of the weasly-ness are too much to go into at this point. Suffice it to say that LN refuses to teach the corporate culture class anymore because he feels it’s a sham.)

Of course, I don’t want to have to decide just now. I’d like it to stay the way it is for a bit longer. Mostly, I’m not anxious for other people to impose change on me. I’d rather be the one to impose the change when I’m ready.

Of course, life doesn’t really work that way and I need to remember to remind my self of my many blessings, not the least of which is that so far, I’m not crying on the way to work (or the way home). Yet.

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