Like today. When I find out that M&N are in town (not sleeping at their own house where X is living, but with their son & DIL) and will be going to the Star Wars exhibit with X and the boys tonight.

You can’t just get a couple of tickets for this exhibit. This has been in the works since X told me he had tickets for a Tuesday (again, scheduling a "fun" event on one of my nights with the boys.)

I don’t begrudge my boys seeing M&N. They are important adults in my children’s lives. I feel bad and left out that M&N come in to town and see them, and they see X and don’t make even a miniscule effort to see me.

But if I’m ever in a room (or Holden Village) with them I’m supposed to act like everything is A-OK.

I know that four years ago KO told me that N would pull away from me but that it had more to do with her dissatisfaction with her own life and her own marriage. I know that M doesn’t say anything because N doesn’t want him to. But you know it’s hurtful and awkward. Especially when I know that later this week or next week (or even next month) someone from that group is going to mention M&N being in town to me as if "of course you saw them."

It’s just so stupid.

But it  hurts. On top of everything else this last weekend (dead rodent disposal, painting alone, non-date beers) I’m just in a space that feels very alone and isolated. And I’m just a little angry to have this rubbed in my face.

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— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Public Health Concerns 2007
A year ago 2007
This is my story and I’m sticking with it. 2006

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Public Health Concerns 2007
A year ago 2007
This is my story and I’m sticking with it. 2006

— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…

Public Health Concerns 2007
A year ago 2007
This is my story and I’m sticking with it. 2006

Posted on July 15th, 2008 under Uncategorized. RSS 2.0 feed. Leave a response, or trackback.