Apology to my children
I’m sorry that I lost my shit last night when I came home.
I’m sorry you only get to sleep until 11 or 12 everyday and that I interrupt your Wii and X-Box fun with chores like "empty the dishwasher" or "trim the bushes around the air conditioner condenser so it doesn’t freeze up and you can continue to enjoy an airconditioned house occasionally when it’s 90 degrees with a 65 degree dew point."
I really am sorry I lost my temper and raised my voice. But you see, I’m at a loss to figure out how to impress on you how utterly frustrated and exhausted I am. You have no idea how much I berate myself for not being able to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and then clean the pan, the kitchen, do your laundry and shuttle you to and from sports practices/games every time you need it. And then also have the time to clean the porch, paint the dining room, mow the lawn, trim the bushes, bundle the recycling, feed the dog, empty and load the dishwasher, fold the laundry, run the vacuum cleaner, kill the mice and shop for groceries.
I’m sorry I can’t do it all.
But see, here’s the real thing: I’m sorry you have to grow up. Really. I have loved having you as little kids and watching you play and have a ball. And I remember being your age. I remember wanting to sleep all day and play all night. It seemed unfair that the world was arranged to ruin that for me.
But here’s what you have to understand. The world IS designed to ruin that for you.
You are 17 and almost 15 years old. You are home all day. I’m off at a corporate job I don’t really like in order to trade the time I’d rather spend with you for money. Money to pay for the house you live in, the food you eat, the electricity you use and all sorts of other things (and by the way, turn off the fans in your room when you leave for hours at a time, because that electricty shit ain’t cheap.) I’m sorry I can’t trade it for enough money to also hire a maid, a cook and a chauffer.
But here’s the deal too, in case you haven’t caught on. You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You’re not a trust fund kid. So it’s highly unlikely that you’ll have servants to take care of the icky parts of life like taking out the garbage or cooking yourself some lunch. Or cleaning off the damn porch so that it can be mouse-proofed. You’re going to need to know how to do these things. So really, this is like a training program.
Also, if you are ever lucky enough to find a woman to marry, she’s going to expect you to haul your own weight. She wants a partner and being a partner means being able to do this stuff.
But I’m really am truly sorry I yelled and lost my shit. I hate yelling at you. I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the look on your face when I’m doing it.
Now. Get the hell out of bed and get going on the list for today, or we’re all going to hate the scene tonight just as much, if not more.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
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Assisting minister 2007
Vacation rhythm 2007
It takes a village 2007
S-A-TUR-DAY Night! Blech! 2006
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Assisting minister 2007
Vacation rhythm 2007
It takes a village 2007
S-A-TUR-DAY Night! Blech! 2006
— — —
A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
-
Assisting minister 2007
Vacation rhythm 2007
It takes a village 2007
S-A-TUR-DAY Night! Blech! 2006
July 29th, 2008 at 10:24 am
I am so glad I stumbled upon this blog. I was a single mother for many years and I feel your pain. they will be better people to have learned to take care of themselves. They will probably never thank you for it but their future wives just might. I was shocked when the new wife of my stepson wrote me a note to that effect. I treasure that thing because raising that boy was not easy!
July 29th, 2008 at 10:42 am
See, this is why we blog. To get this stuff off our chest…vent!!! Being a parent IS NOT easy.
The Diva’s Thoughtss last blog post..My First Day Of School
July 29th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Oh, my. I’m right in there with you. Let it out, mama, and be sure to take a deep breath before you walk in the door tonight.
Big hug and thanks for the unintended laugh.I’m printing this off and putting it on the refrigerator where The Spawn can ignore it!
July 29th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
CCG- welcome! Glad you stopped by. Feel free to jump into any of the discussions. As someone who has made it through and gotten a thank-you note I’m especially glad to know that it can be done.
Diva - you are exactly right.
DCup- Hope your Spawn enjoy. I’m thinking of printing it off and putting it on my refrigerator too!
July 29th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Girlfriend, this is why I read your blog. I’ve done, and felt, EXACTLY the same way. I compare my children’s childhoods to my own and cringe at how easy I’ve made it for them. That razor thin line between sparing your children your pain, and teaching them those oh so important life lessons can be so frustrating.
Elizabeths last blog post..Perseverence
July 29th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I could have written that and wish I had. It is the hard truth and kids have to hear it
laura b.s last blog post..Weekend at laura b.’s
July 29th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I feel like this with a 5 and 3.5 yr. old. I was hoping it would get better when they hit their teens.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
If I was you? I would give that to my kids.
And these pearls from Bill Gates:
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
randis last blog post..HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDREA!!!!
July 30th, 2008 at 4:47 am
Maybe it is time they got jobs….they are old enough.
Me and my brother (The Alien) had to perform these simple tasks when we were home all day as well. We did them to avoid getting in any trouble because mom and dad took no crap from us.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:30 am
I am catching up and boy, did I start at a great post! Good for you mamma! You are such an inspiration.
abbagirl74s last blog post..A Day Off Already?