March 5th had some cool stuff
It was warm: 42 degrees when I left work!
We had good meetings at work including a rousing discussion about training managers to have development conversations with their people and how to do that. And training them how to create a development plan and a performance (remdiation) plan and then turning around and going into a demo for the new version of our learning management system and hearing that they have all sorts of modules that we don’t use that supprot that sort of talent development thing we were just talking about. I was a hero.
I had a conversation with PrMS and rescheduled our conversation about his church’s ministry idea and staffing need that goes with that. There is a lot of fog there on my part but only because I haven’t had the conversation. I wonder about leaving my current church, I wonder if I could actually live on that salary (and I don’t even know what it is!) and I just wonder about the huge changes in my life that will occur when I take a job like that and what exactly those changes would look like if I took THAT job.
Corporate Boss Lady took me aside at one point and said that she had recommended me for a bonus. Said she wanted to give me a raise but couldn’t but there were a small number of people that were going to get bonuses and she picked me as one of them. And no, it’s not millions and millions of dollars and/or stock options. I don’t know exactly what it is but I’m hoping for a couple hundred cold hard cash. That or a couple of days at a spa. I’d take that too.
I attended a workshop on “Generational differences and similiarities in workforce engagement” No, not that kind of engagement. The kind where you actually like your job, think it matters and you spend “discretionary effort” to do good work. It wasn’t the best workshop I’d been to about that and it really didn’t get to answers or solutions. But they served dinner.
I met G for a drink after that. He’s continuing to be a surprising individual. Yesterday we talked a little more about the death of his wife and the role his greif group played in getting him through that. He admitted that getting involved with me had some scary things associated with it and he named it as “fear of losing you.”
I’m a little concerned that I’m the first romantic relationship since his wife died seven years ago. Partly because it his assertions and enthusiasm seems a little fast and partly because, if I’m honest, I’m afraid of rejection down the road here.
Which is not to say that our time together is anything but fun and very very nice. I’m just watching over my shoulder a bit.
Bottom line is I’m working too hard. Self-care has fallen off the schedule completely except for conversations with G, and I’m working too close to the edge of exhaustion.
I need a vacation. Or at least a day off.
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A year ago (or longer) on This Journey…
March 6th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Perhaps part of the bonus could be paid time off, unrelated to accrued vacation time? It sure sounds like you need it!
March 7th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Definitely give yourself some time off. I’m glad you’re enjoying getting to know G better. I can understand why you’d want to be careful, but I hope you can balance that with just the fun of the new relationship.