This Journey

Thoughts, rants, prayers, sermons I'll never give and other stuff gathered as I make my way through this life.

2008 Review; 2009 Preview

Hey kids! It’s that time again. A little evaluation of past goals and a little dreaming goal setting for the next run around the sun.

I have to say that 2008 brought some surprises for me. And while there were some pretty damn good things that happened this year, (like travel to Italy and boys that both got Sportsman of the Year awards) I’m not at all sorry to see the door hit this one in the arse as it shuffles off into legend.

From a purely objective viewpoint, I don’t think I did very well on the goals I set for myself last year. Which is not to say that I think I’m a failure. Just that stuff changed and big things I accomplished took more time and energy than I anticipated and shoved some of the other things off the ToDo list. (I’ve really got to torch that thing.)

Here’s what I mean.

1. Spend more time intentionally in prayer. Use that prayer calendar and build those relationships. There are 80 women out there that call you sister. Live up to it and expect them to live up to it, too.

Well, I certainly did better in asking for prayer support this year. And, if anyone could actually hear my inner dialog you would know that most of the day is spent in conversation with The Divine (God, the Universe, whatever) but I couldn’t put my hands on that prayer calendar right now for love or money. I think I lost it somewhere around January 5th.

The other thing I feel good about, and which I think is really at the core of this goal, is that I’ve developed relationships within this community this year. I’ve spent more time on the phone with the women, if not in prayer. And if I take seriously the idea that the God I follow and believe in is all about relationships and incarnation, then I think I did OK here. There was a lot more time listening and being listened to… and even most importantly, feeling heard.

2. Focus on building health. Continue to eat a balanced, healthy un-diet. Bring a lunch to work at least 3x per week. (Hopefully working from home the other 2 days!!) Add more movement into my daily routine. Walking with the dog, for instance, maybe 3x per week?

I did great on this one. The YWCA is a winner for me. So was recognizing that having a trainer and then signing up for classes leveraged the “people pleaser” part of me for my own benefit.

I can now leg press over 250 lbs., bench press 80 lbs., and do 60-75 push-ups (three sets of 25) (REAL push-ups) (sometimes even on an incline.) including about 120 squats per session.

And probably biggest of all, I can run a mile. Without crying. Or dying!

Quit laughing. That’s a big one for me.

I’ve dropped two-three sizes and about 15 lbs. I think the number on the scale is dropping slower than I would like because of that “muscle weighs more than fat” business. At least that’s the story I’m sticking with.

3. Swear less. Start with removing the F-word from the lexicon. (Gotta pick an alternative and figure out a reward system.)

Um. Fail. ‘nuf said.

4. Nest more. De-clutter my house. I feel like I’m still dragging so much of my past along with me in the clutter that’s physical and emotional and mental. Maybe the process of cleaning out the physical space again will help sort out the mental? Start the bathroom remodel. I need a tub and another shower in this house. Try to be happier when I’m alone. Treasure the time instead of “enduring” it. Play more games and watch more movies with the boys. As long as they let me. The days are numbered.

Whoo boy! This is the one I think I’m most disappointed in my progress; or lack of progress, as it were. The Great De-Clutter of ’08 spit and sputtered along all year and the end result is very incremental.

I mean, I know there are bags and boxes in the garage meant either for the Goodwill, or if DS2 has his way, a garage sale, but the inside result is hard to pick out.

The bath remodel came in at a healthy $10k, so that DIDN’T happen this year. Luckily, I’m not so insane as to have tried to do the project on my own. Although, I do now have a claw-foot bath-tub in my garage just tempting me.

I have been more successful and “getting OK” with the being alone business and with being present with the time I have left with the boys. Espcially DS1, who is apparently hell-bent on leaving for college in the fall and growing up and all.

5. Find opportunities to make good music. Make the CD already.

I’ve had a ball this year playing and singing with SB and the crew over at church. As for the CD, still on the Undone list.

6. Take care of the finances. Refinance the mortgages and write and file a will (do you file a will? I don’t even know!) and double check all the beneficiaries on everything. File the taxes early. Get it done and off the agenda.

Refinance: check.
Will: not check.
Beneficiaries: not check.
File taxes early: BWAHAhahahahaha

7. Act out more. Write more letters, make more phone calls, establish more relationships with public offices. Use this 2 year internship time to lay the foundation for being effective in the public arena.

Done. I’m well on my way to establishing an ongoing group of social justice activists at this congregation. In the meantime, due to the unpredictability of my job at Corporate Hell on Earth, I talked the various and sundry committees into finalizing my Approval, so I could take search for a call any time now. I’m hoping to find something that is not congregation based so that I can stay with this congregation for a little while.

Like I said, some surprises this year. That I would be looking for a non-congregation based call is not what I would have placed big money on a year or three ago.

8. Limit the amount of emotional energy spent in dysfunctional relationships at work and with family of origin. Without guilt. (OK that last part might be gilding the lily.)

I think I did pretty well here. Although, limiting my emotional investment at Corporate Hell on Earth makes it difficult to really give a rat’s pattootie about the work and therefore a little hard to show up every day. But so far, so good.

The family of origin thing is going to be ongoing. I did pretty well this year. My favorite moment was this one.

So what’s on the idea list for 2009? Good question. This year’s list came out as a listing of advice I’m giving someone else.

We’ve always wanted to refer to Ourselves in the Royal Third Person. Perhaps this is a step in that direction?

prayer114_100185915_std1.  Follow this good advice (even if it was from a pompous source): “Pray like it’s all up to God. Work like it’s all up to you.”
Stop sitting back and daring God (a.k.a., the universe) to cough up the good stuff. You know you have been. Use that philosophy on the following goals:

water2.  Keep up with the healthy living bit. Healthy non-diet and exercise and get back into drinking that water. There’s another 15-20 pounds (or two sizes) (whichever comes first) to go here, sister. You can do it!

3.  Get a First Call. Get out of Corporate Hell on Earth. Network, cajole, negotiate, smooze. Whatever it takes, within reason. Don’t settle just to get out though. Make sure health insurance and pension are included in the package. Not to mention a livable wage (not always a given for church positions other than pastor, btw.)

astronomicalclock4.  Start using your time management and organizational skills again. You’ve been skating by on luck for the last three years. If #3 is going to happen you’ve got to be more engaged in managing your time. You’ve got too much going on to let your calendar manage you.

5.  Start turning over those rocks again and get a boyfriend. Or whatever you call it. You are now clear that you want a romantic relationship. You’re not going to meet someone sitting in the living room knitting. So. Do something about it. Even if it costs a little money. And again: Don’t Settle. You know you’re looking for something besides an agate. This is going to require that you trust and risk being vulnerable. It does not require that you are stupid.

souplines6.  Finances, finances, finances. Seriously. File the damn taxes early. You know you’re getting a refund this year. Use it (all of it) to pay down the little debt you’ve accumulated (mostly taxes from last year) and get your financial house in order. The gravy train is running off the tracks and Hard Times Training is going to pay off this year. Be prepared to help out, or at least stretch out the amount of time before you need help.

42-167289517.  Do the minimum needed to make the back-yard livable and suitable for DS1′s graduation party. You do not actually need all you want back there. Simple and cleaned up will do quite nicely, thank you.

8.  Clean the damn house already. Look. Do it because you know that you cleanhousewill feel better in a clean house. Not just because you have guests coming for an Inauguration Party on the 20th. Use that as a jumping off point. So, The Great De-Clutter of ’08 was basically bust. Now it’s The Great De-Clutter of ’09. You have until June. Seriously. And take DS2 up on his offer to run a garage sale. Even if it only nets $50 that’s $50 you didn’t have before. After that, seriously consider that bathroom remodel. Doing as much as you can on your own. The boys would be able to help and it would teach them valuable skills. Plus MJ is back in town for the tough stuff.

9.  Treasure every final moment of DS1 in the house. As aggravating and unhelpful as he can be, his time with you is limited. Enjoy teaching him how to clean the kitchen if nothing else.

10.  Travel as much as job and budget will allow. Maybe it won’t be international this year, but get out of town regularly. Always have something on the schedule, even if it’s months and months out. It’s good for your mental health to look forward to it and it’s good for your mental health to GO. Go with the boys, go without them. Just GO.

I think that’s lofty enough. The rest is details.

Author: Not Fainthearted

A paradox wrapped in an enigma playing the accordion. I'm a sinner-saint, child of God working at the cross-roads of church and world. A Deaconess called to connect people living near the center with people on the edge and to help your life sing (literally and figuratively) while doing it. People don't always get the deaconess part. Could be the swearing, the corporate job, or the wine.

6 Comments

  1. You’re doing great! And I think your goals for 2009 sound great! And achievable. Even better!

    Happy New Year! I’m glad that 2008 has included the chance to get to know you.

  2. Wow, you actually keep TRACK of what you said last year?? wow.

    • Noregrets,
      that’s part of the genius of blogging! I just search on a date and voila! there’s the list. It’s also been quite useful, as I progress through the hell that is divorce, to be able and really look back at where I was 1, 2, 3, 4 years ago. Quite amazing. Some stuff just the same. Some progress.

  3. I think actually setting goals is a big part of the process. Sure, some will be met and some maybe not so much…but just being aware of what you want and need seems huge to me.
    Your post really inspired me. Thanks.
    Happy 2009, NFH!

  4. Brava! Sounds like you worked through your goals with a plan (look back/look forward) and through Realism Lenses. Good luck with all of it; the decluttering is SOOOO liberating, I’m sure you’ll have a lighter, freer 2009.

  5. I think those are all excellent goals. As far as the yard/house cleaning my only suggestion is this. Instead of looking at the big picture, focus on a room at a time. I just started my de-clutter and it began with clothes and shoes in a closet. If you don’t find yourself getting to the goodwill or having a garage sale, craigslist “free stuff” will get rid of that for you. All I had to do was put it in the back of our apartment by the dumpster. Gone.

    GOOD LUCK AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!