I got a job offer today. Same salary as the Former Evil Corporate Job. Same basic work but no management responsibilities.

It might be a blessing. But too often we have this way of twisting that word “blessing” to mean that the Divine Presence likes me better than someone else. Which just isn’t true.

I’m also not 100% sure I count it as a blessing. I mean, I know there’s a lot of good things about it, but it’s not what I want. I suppose that means I’m acting like a spoiled brat. Maybe I am.

I’ll stick with lucky.

Most people would be excited and energized. I think part of what’s going on for me is that it is tempered by a version of “survivor’s guilt.” So many people I know — smart, qualified, eager-to-work unemployed people — would eat bees to be going off unemployment so quickly. I’m deeply sorry if this missive causes you pain or makes you angry. I totally understand.

I certainly am relieved as trying to live on Unemployment Insurance, even if supplemented by savings is a joke.

But it’s not the work I’ve been seeking. I don’t think that I can sell it as a call either as it is in the financial services industry.  At least it won’t prevent me from taking the 4th-6th grade choir.

A big part of me is just glad I’m not weeping about. First day is August 30.