This Journey

Thoughts, rants, prayers, sermons I'll never give and other stuff gathered as I make my way through this life.

Inoculated

I got my flu shot today. No sucker and no “Hello, Kitty!” band-aid either. Just take off your jacket and distract yourself by chatting up the other RNs who are sitting around not doing anything.

With any luck this will keep me healthy this year. Of course, we know that it won’t really do that. That the protection this little pain in my arm provides is specific in scope – but with potentially great impact. Flu can be a life-threatening event — especially to older folks, of which I’m quickly becoming one. Colds aren’t as threatening and there is no shot to protect one from the scads of germs these people are already sharing. Too many of my co-workers have small children – walking petri dishes really – and they’re already coming in to work sick; coughing and sneezing in my cube and then touching my pens and computer screen.

But this shot I got today won’t do a darn thing to protect me from the cold virus. Or the stomach flu. Or a bunch of things that threaten my health on a daily and hourly basis.

Things like perfectionism. And workaholism. And frustrations, exhaustion and discouragement. And the something I call “The Overwhelmies.” I wish there was an inoculation for these health threats.

I lost my shit last night with G. DS2 gave me my birthday present from him and his brother. It consisted of a lovely framed pic of them sliding down the glaciers at Holden this past summer. And a big box of dominoes. The kind that go up to 15 spots. For playing the real game of dominoes.

I’m a quick thinker in the evening and I figured if my son had given me a game, the sub-text might be “Hey. I’ll spend time playing this with you.”

But if you’re going to play dominoes, you need a table. And it was covered in stuff and papers and junk mail – just like the dining room table and the kitchen table. And I became overwhelmed with the frustration of the encroaching piles of clutter.

And I lost my shit.

I wish there was a shot that inoculated against clutter and hoarding tendencies.

And another shot that protected against losing your shit with your loved ones – especially when you’re trying to spend quality time with your loved ones.

Author: Not Fainthearted

A paradox wrapped in an enigma playing the accordion. I'm a sinner-saint, child of God working at the cross-roads of church and world. A Deaconess called to connect people living near the center with people on the edge and to help your life sing (literally and figuratively) while doing it. People don't always get the deaconess part. Could be the swearing, the corporate job, or the wine.

One Comment

  1. Sorry about that. I know it’s hard sometimes not to lose your shit.