Here we are again. The end of November and 30 posts in 30 days. How about that, huh?

What else? Just a normal day at the corporate grindstone. Although today my anxiety level was heightened by the knowledge that a church job that I would really, really like is reviewing resumes tonight and will be contacting their short list for interviews probably this week.

I have a sinking pit in my stomach feeling when I think about struggling on here if I don’t even get an interview. Who am I kidding? I don’t know how I won’t fall into a deep depression if I don’t get an interview. I don’t know how I will be able to keep a positive, hopeful “Something will come along” attitude if I don’t get the job.

I know that may seem like hubris or arrogance or something. Mostly it’s desperation. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep looking for a “call” in the face of continued rejection and lack of opportunity. And as someone who is lucky enough to have a corporate job – and not be on dwindling unemployment benefits – my great fear is that I will become complacent and find myself still in this job next year at this time and needing to re-write all those approval essays again to restart the 3-year time clock.

I can’t think of it. I must focus on thinking that I’ll get an interview and that it will be a match between what I can do and what they want and need.

Enough of that. I’m off to a holiday party with G. Remember, tomorrow is International Aids Day.