If I were a hypochondriac and fan of self diagnosis (*cough*IamNOT*cough*) these last days might lead me to believe I have a bit of the ol’ bipolar going on in my noggin’.
Racing thoughts, anxiety over deadlines, depression over feelings of inadequacy related to meeting the unrealistic deadlines, irritability alternating with weepiness. Or it could be my mirena is coming to the end of it’s usefulness and my normal hormonal swing dance is resuming.
Or it could be that this hyper-modern world we live in is just too fast-paced, not focused on the important stuff and rather designed to make us rats on a wheel, running until our bodies and minds give out completely. Rats who have been given experimental drugs which have side-effects of epic proportions. And the craziest rats are gaining control of the experiment.
I’m back around at that part of the spiral journey where I just want to get off the fraking merry-go-round and stare into the distance for a while. I tried that a bit on Monday and now I’m paying for it in increased anxiety over the unrealistic arbitrary deadlines. I guess a one-day check-out isn’t really enough.
There was tornado through Minneapolis last Sunday. Chez Journey was untouched but there is much destruction just a couple of miles away. I have friends who are pastors and deaconesses at churches in the destruction area. They are organizing friends to provide meals and necessities for their neighbors. One pastor is looking for trained folks to help her provide pastoral counseling to the neighbors who need it.
I can’t volunteer to do that because I have too many corporate rocks to shove uphill. As hard as it would be to walk with people through their grief and trouble, it makes me sad that I can’t go because THAT is an activity I actually count as truly important. Blessings on all who are able to – and do.