There is a lot I’d like to change about my day-to-day situation but there is still a lot to be grateful for. I don’t list these in a PollyAnna-ish way (anyone seen that movie lately?) I don’t want anyone to infer from this that if your life is hard (and whose isn’t on some level) that that answer is to just “smile and count your blessings.” The answer usually is to actively make good decisions that are not fear based.

I list these things for which I can be grateful so that I have a small ledge of rock to grip with my fingernails. The alternative is to plummet into the depths of the pit.

• I’m grateful that I got to see DS1 for a little bit before he had to leave for Holden. I’m so grateful that he seems to be navigating his college years with an increasing level of maturity and responsibility, that he doesn’t seem stalked by self-doubt or over stress and that he seems to have a good circle of friends where he gets a level of support.
• I’m grateful that DS2 had a good time on the trip and made some friends. It was amazing to watch him open up both with the little kids (who hero worshiped him when he included them in Capture the Flag) and with the high schoolers, who could have been clique-y and exclude him, but they didn’t.
• I’m grateful that I can pay my mortgage and my bills and have enough to eat and enough to pay for air-conditioning to live comfortably in the summer heat.
• I’m grateful for my circles of support, both long-distance and local. You truly buoy me up and keep me from slipping under the surface of these choppy waters I find myself in.